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Living with a brain tumour

Well, last Sunday night many of you sat back and watched the logies and if you don’t know what the logies are well it’s a bit like the golden globe awards but AUSTRALIAN! The gold logie logie went to Carrie Bickmore, Carrie spent her moments of fame bringing awareness to Brain Cancer. Carrie’s husband has passed away about five years before from this terrible disease he fought for a decade. Brain cancer kills 8 in every 10 there is no government funding yet its kills children more than any other disease. Globally there are many many support groups set up for brain cancer patients and of course brain tumour patients. I belong to about six groups. I’m a strong supporter of The Brain Tumour Alliance of Australia and wherever I can raise funds. I’m not asking for a pat on the back I can do that myself I just want somebody to find a cure, a cure so that tumour patients both benign and malignant  can rid themselves of the suffering,the unknown and mind games that come with it. I have a benign tumour and you may think thats great it’s not malignant  and yes thats true , malignant equates to death eventually and benign doesn’t well not quite. You see the difference is the unknown, is it growing, is it not growing,why do I have a headache,I can’t hear like I use to, my eyes aren’t as good as what they were – is this thing in my head growing or am I just getting old? And so you lie there in the MRI machine waiting waiting then wait again to see your neurosurgeon who asks you bluntly when is it coming out – it has to come out! The thought of somebody taking something out of our head is a horrible thought for all of us isn’t it not just me.  Can you imagine waking up tomorrow and not be able to do what you want, drive,cook,run,laugh, will you remember people,will I be ME – have you ever thought of that – because they’re the risks a person takes when they go to surgery, I suppose every surgery has its risks but this is brain surgery – a life had could be taken away. 

For me quality of life is paramount – this tumour might never grow and I might out live you all and so I should with all the exercise and healthy eating I do!!…..and it might grow next week,next year who knows. What I do know is I can’t imagine not doing what I do I can’t imagine not sharing what I love.  In the middle of a class the greatest fear will come over me, I can be teaching any type of class and I look out there and think what if I couldn’t do this anymore,what if I couldn’t inspire others to be the best they could be, it’s a horrible thought and it’s horrible not knowing. I suppose thats the difference between knowing you are going to die from a disease and not knowing at all. #beaniesforbraincancer #beaniesfortumours